The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new
Oh boy… oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. If you’re reading this then I’m happy you found it as no doubt you are either at this point right now or have been in the past and curious to see the white hot mess I’m about to confess I’ve become due to my resistance lately ha ha
The particular change I am referring to is one that saddens me and excites me all at the same time. I think this is the first time I’ve not had the fear associated with me which in itself is not only a win, but a little weird if I’m honest. About 6 weeks prior I found my contract at my current job won’t be renewed. A few weeks before this, I had found out that the contract would run out in Dec (due to my own silliness of not paying attention, I thought I had a few more years there). So you can imagine my initially shock when I heard I would need to figure out my future in 8 months, nevermind 2 months when it turned out that things were a little bit more dire than initially though. Fast forward 6 weeks from that point and here I am writing about it as I’ve come to a beautiful point of processing, releasing, acceptance and action. I’m cutting it fine, I know. What with 2 weeks until I am out on my a**, but better late than never, right? So lets put this change into perspective.
So I have been extremely fortunate, and continuously grateful, for the job I just happen to fall into when I finished my Masters. I didn’t realise it at the time but I was extremely bold going right up to who is now the Australian version of the Nobel Prize winner for Science, and asking for a job. No experience, just started a project with him, and just had no idea about the world I was asking to enter. I found out a few years ago that my current boss saw the inexperience, saw the green around my gills, yet he still gave me a chance. For that I will be forever grateful. What started off as a few hours a week looking after animals, on a 6 month contract turned into the most amazing experience I have had, extending to a full 5 years. Now to put that into perspective, people in my position get work for perhaps one day a week and maybe for a year or so. It’s all depending on funding you see. So to be able to work full time, for five years is a total win. This job allowed me to grow, to make lifelong friends, to learn what I am capable and most of all, it allowed me to be free. My boss never once managed me, never once doubted me, and as a result I was able to prove that I was capable of anything. I enjoyed what I did and in the process I discovered my purpose in this life. It’s a little ironic to think that I became a biologist to avoid working with people. Through this job however I learnt that I loved it.
I love the realm of helping, supporting, listening, and seeing others succeed from that
You may not think that the position entails a lot of 1:1 interaction with the human kind but when you are surrounded by postgraduate students the whole time it gets unavoidable. Seeing how these amazing people grew and evolved through their degrees, and being a part of the support network around them, taught me that this was what I wanted to do. So not only did I have enormous personal growth at this job, it also led me down the path of becoming a life coach and starting my won business. And what’s more, I earned a hella nice wage too, with no restrictions on holiday time or sick days. Fast forward to the present and we are now at the juncture of endings and new beginnings. There’s sadness there for the ending of something so amazing, yet there is excitement for the new and what it may bring. Though this is where the resistance came in to play….
I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination
I knew I was actively blocking finding a new job. I just didn’t want to go into another muggle job. I felt like I was failing at making my business work, I had failed as it still wasn’t supporting me (a year after it started, yeah… a little hard on myself here), and I was a little scared I wouldn’t be able to find something as cruisy or well paid as my current job. So I just kinda put it on the back burned and went about focussing on the business. When it’s swept under the rug you can’t see it, right? But it’s still there…. What scared me most was the fact that I wasn’t getting stressed or anxious about the whole situation, and still aren’t. I tend to lose sleep over the smallest things and I’m still sleeping soundly. I’m still eating and pretty much going about life like nothing is amiss. And I have this deep knowing that it will all work out. I spoke to someone about this the other day and said that I know I am able to deal with whatever happens. I always have and I can’t see that changing. There is no alternative really if we stop to thing about it. Curling up like a pill bug ain’t gonna fix things (perhaps just make you feel better initially). I did however realise that I was actively blocking finding a job by my total resistance to the idea. The budge came when I had a little whine to someone about the injustice of it all (I exaggerate but you get the point). From implementing what she suggested I created the following. If you’d like the worksheet, then click the link below and sign up. You’ll get access to that and many more. All for free
WHAT TO DO TO GET IT CLEAR IN YOUR HEAD
Write. And then write some more. And keep writing until you have all your woes, worries, fears, overwhelm, stress, anger etc out on paper. Just get it all out. You are acknowledging your response to the change and you are processing through the monkey mind that you may very well be experiencing right now. You then want to get your mind around the fact that you have a few options about how to tack this. For me it went something like this:
|Soul sapping work (a muggle job)
This would be a negative
|Living my purpose
This would be a positive
|Soul inspiring work (my business)
This would be a positive
|Not living my purpose
This would be a negative
So the point here is that having a muggle job and not living my purpose would be a double negative (that would NOT result in a positive for all you maths buffs out there). And doing my business and thus living my purpose is the ultimate goal here, two positives. Though that’s not realistic right now. And neither is the double negative as I do have my business which still inspires me every day. I am left with a negative and a positive: soul sapping work + living my purpose. This triggered a few things for me which I will expand on after the next section.
I then did a good old pros and cons list… and this is where things got interesting… here’s what it looked like
|I will stay financially stable
I can learn about another area
I will make new friends
I get out of the house (working from home gets to me a little so my muggle job is great to escape to)
I learn new skills
I appreciate my business more
I can eat and pay rent
I can still live well without worrying about where money is going to come from
|I will lose a big chunk of my day where I can be working on my business
And here is where I stopped as I came to realised something very important.
I JUST DON’T KNOW. I can’t finish the list as I just don’t know what the new job will bring. It can turn out to be even more amazing than the current one. I don’t know if it will sap my energy, I don’t know if I’ll have loads of stress, and I don’t know if it will in fact be soul sapping. The point here is that I don’t know the cons. I can assume what they may be but I am really not in to assuming the worst. It’s just not my style.
And so came the epiphany, the budge, and the energetic shift I needed to overcome he resistance and accept this change. A good old pros and cons list with a little bit of journalling at the start. It’s my hope that by sharing this with you that you may be able to process your own fears or icky feelings of the change you face. Or just know that we all go through it. We all have to start somewhere with out businesses. And to be honest, I’ve been dragging my feet as I don’t hate my day job. I love both areas of work I am in. But I do know that my continuation of work will be more heavily focusses on helping people to rewrite their stories into ones with more clarity, fun and purpose.
If you’d like a little worksheet that takes you through the above click here. It will take you to my Thinkific site where I have loads of free worksheets (including this one) in my coaching library for you.
Keep your head up. Change is hard, but can be amazing if you keep your focus on the positive.
Look after yourself. There is only one you and if you’re doing loads of good in the world then we want you to stay strong to continue. It’s in helping ourselves first that we can then be more helpful to others.